I was awfully tempted to hook the baby-poo couch to my back and walk it up the stairs when I saw it in the back laneway the other day. Although the colour is hideous, it looked extremely comfortable to my couch connoisseur’s eye, and I thought it would have looked great on my balcony. I mean, I know a good couch when I see one, having spent many an hour on them chatting with friends, watching television and, oh, and sleeping.
I think it’s because I didn’t actually have a couch in my house when I was growing up. Now, I know this sounds like something from Monty Python, but we didn’t actually have a lounge-room as a child, we just had a hall-way. As a result of too many people, not enough rooms, I spent my formative years sitting on the floor in a hall-way, which is where the television was located. The only time I ever sat on a couch as a child was when I visited other people.
Heading off to university and living in shared accommodation I had a variety of couches throughout my twenties. Most memorable of these was the one Roberto (who I shared with in Wagga Wagga) and I inherited from near neighbour Karen. Famously, Roberto decided one night he would wash the cushion-covers. Tragically, the fabric shrunk, so we then faced the dilemma of what to do with cushion-covers that no longer fitted the cushions. As a result of cutting down the foam so the cushion-covers fitted, we ended up with cushions sitting on the couch which resembled shrunken heads. When I arrived home with friends that night we all pissed our pants laughing at how small the cushions looked on the much larger couch.
The following day I went along to the furniture store and bought two lovely striped couches (including one with a fold-out bed) which served me well for the next ten years or so. Despite its age, I still have the fold-out in my spare bedroom and use it for visitors.
The much loved couch was replaced seven or eight years ago by two black-leather monsters which are incredibly comfortable and remain – touch wood – to look very attractive. They’re fantastic for socialising (three to a couch comfortably), watching television upon, and enjoying the occasional Saturday afternoon nap. Speaking of which…