Although I think it’s an absolutely excellent cause (supporting prostate cancer and all that kinda stuff), I also think there’s also something totally dodgy, about Movember. Everywhere I go at the moment, even at work, I’ve noticed guys sporting facial hair. Are they raising money, I think to myself, or are they just waiting for a socially acceptable excuse to grow bushranger-like facial hair?

Beards, I like. There’s something about the beard which says “bloke”. It also says “I’m busy and couldn’t be arsed shaving” .

But the moustache gives out a mixed message about masculinity. It says “I’m not quite a complete bloke”. It also says, “I’m vain enough to spend a fair bit of time looking at myself in the mirror each morning”. This is especially the case with those finely sculptured moustaches or goatees.

OK, so I guess the honest truth is I probably couldn’t grow a moustache or a beard to save my life. After several weeks my beard would be patchy at best.

But then again, it would never get to that point, because the longest I can go without shaving is about three or four days. At that point, I begin to feel dirty, a little grotty.

And besides, after about thirty years of shaving I’ve now reached the point where I can do it without a mirror in the shower.

Tonight, however, I wondered what I would look like with a moustache. And with chest hair. And with head hair. And here’s the result…


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