Ring Ring, why doesn’t Colin Firth give me a call?

Forget the bar scene. Forget internet-dating. It’s all been a waste of time, because in the last couple of weeks I’ve begun to realise my perfect match, my soul mate, my life partner may, in fact, be someone I’ve known for quite some time. Well, not so much “known” as “known of”. I’m talking about the actor, Colin Firth.

Colin and I first “met” when I was a teenager. He was in the movie “Another Country” where he played the character of Tommy Judd. I admit I was confused back then, thinking stupidly Rupert Everett held greater attraction. What can I say? I was young and foolish.

I don’t know exactly what happened after “Another Country”, but somehow Colin and I drifted apart. For a long time, we never really saw much of each other. And while he was off appearing in “period drama”, I was more interested in the likes of Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix. What was I thinking? About ten years ago, Colin and I were re-introduced by our mutual friend, Bridget Jones. He was a little uptight then, but so was I. Thankfully over the next few years, we both loosened up a bit. Possibly he loosened up a little too much in “Mamma Mia”, but at least he had a better singing voice than Pierce Brosnan.

About twelve months ago we caught up again, brought together by “A Single Man”. It was honestly one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. At the time I noted…

The opening sequence, where George (played by Colin Firth) finds out about the death in a car accident of his partner, Jim, and of his reaction brought me to tears. It’s a beautiful piece in a beautiful film, which I enjoyed very much. It’s also a film I could relate strongly too. When you’ve loved someone. I mean really loved someone. And you’ve lost them. The agony that you feel for a long time remains strong. And you could see in the way Colin firth played George, and the way he reacted, he was obviously drawing on some of his own deep emotions. And being a great believer in “fate” (heresy, I know in these days of the cult of Richard Dawkins et al), I loved the way incidents kept happening in George’s life in the time after Jim’s death to intervene, to avoid what you believe is the inevitable: George’s suicide.

Thanks largely to this film, Colin and I embarked on a new relationship. We saw each other again the other week, and once again I cried watching “A Single Man” (it’s such an emotional film). And then just a few days ago I saw Colin again in “The King’s Speech”. Again, he’s fantastic.

So anyway, at the age of forty-five I’ve decided the bar scene is a waste of time, internet dating is a waste of time, and that I’ll just sit at home and wait for Colin to give me a call. I’m no longer interested in the series of one-night-stands we’ve had over the last twenty years, I’m looking for something a little more long-term these days.

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