Dave and AmelieAlthough I know I come across as a sophisticated, intelligent citizen of the world, I will admit to loving Big Brother. Although I concede there are some “base” elements to my interest, I honestly think the reason I like it so much is because it’s about human nature, and I love observing humans. And I love how Dave looks like Amelie Mauresmo!

I also love the way people react to new situations, I love observing how they communicate, and I guess, I love seeing how they miscommunicate. Far be it for me to suggest that BB is something other than it is, but I remember with fondness the first series of “Up Late” where they all featured for two or three hours was housemates sleeping. I’m sure they didn’t realise they were de-constructing television in the sense Foucalt would have observed, but maybe they were. Now of course, it’s Mike Goldman and $1000 of prize money for solving dumb puizzles.

Anyway, in an attempt to find some redeeming features in this year’s series, here are some observations. Yes, I know it’s probably just a half-hearted attempt to justify my own bogan origins and interests, but please consider the issues I’m raising and at least pay SOME lip-service to the arguments.

Inappropriate Behaviour: There have been lots of cases of inappropriate behaviour in the house which should have been punished in some way. What I guess made this year’s different is that two people were involved, with one of them holding the other down while the act was committed. They didn’t say what they did was wrong, they said they didn’t mean to harm her. Well, one of them at least. Both insisted it was being intimate and friendly, when I’d suggest flapping your dick in someones face while another person holds you down is not an indication of friendliness and intimacy. I really feel for Camilla. She’s the victim in all this, and when these two losers have been forgotten, she’ll be living with this crap. Her first discussion in the room indicated she felt uncomfortable with this, but knew if she spoke out she’d be judged badly, which she has been by many men and women. Sad how men and women are judged so differently.

Token Characters: I really hate the notion of labelling someone as a “token” whatever. To even suggest someone is the token gay, the token wog, the token blonde etc is to deny their humanity. They’re chosen for a reason which goes beyond categories and usually relates to personality/talent etc, and to suggest they’re chosen because they fit a category is insulting to them as individuals and to those who chose them. I’ve seen the phrase sometimes used in the workplace, especially notions of “oh yeh, she’s the token female manager”. I’ve always thought it was a piss-weak excuse used by men with inferior skills to explain their own lack of achievement.

Voting Campaigns: The only successful, well-orchestrated and well-documented reality-tv “campaign” in recent memory was that undertaken by Assembly of God churches in support of Guy Sebastian. There was also a bit of campaign when I was living in Perth to support the couple – don’t remember their name – on My Restaurant Rules. One of the gay pubs there, The Court, donated an SMS vote for every VB bought. I bought a few, purely in their support of course. But as for Dave? To the best of my knowledge, none of the gay pubs in Sydney at least, are running campaigns, nor has there been anything in the gay press in support of Dave. There was a big article early in the piece, but nothing much since. I recall, however, that when Johnny in Series One was up for eviction there was a “Save Johnny” night at Arq Nightclub that was attended by Andii, the B&D dominatrix. It was great fun, especially all the drag queens dressed as Gretel complete with clipboard. Remember the clipboard?

Jamie’s Underpants: Does anyone know if Jamie has only one pair of underpants or multiple copies of the same? Has anyone seen him wash them? Is there a secret Big Brother room where Jamie’s mum comes in to take care of his laundy? I’m FASCINATED.

Is The Prize Worth It?: I admire everyone who goes on the show and have thought the previous prizes of crappy mobile phones etc were poor compensation for the public humiliation many of them receive. I wouldn’t begruge anyone a fairly cheap car as part compensation for all the crap they’ll endure.

Me On BB: I sometimes wonder what I’d be like in the BB House, not that I’d ever consider applying. But I reckon if selected, and I made it through most of the way, these are the characteristics I’d display. If all the other housemates were bimbo idiots, I think I’d be polite for a while and try to get to know them. If they showed a sense of humour, and seemed like nice people, I reckon I’d just accept them for what they are, and have a nice time. A bit like Dave, I suppose. But if they were idiots with no redeeming features, I think I could end up like law student Ben or Perry, and just start to pick on them, probably leading to a quick eviction. I’d never go into the house for reasons of a “tv career” or whatever, but for the experience. Therefore, if the experience was either boring or insipid, I’d want to rebel. I reckon I’d be a neat freak (unlike real life), and I’d probably keep my shorts on while showering. So in summary, I reckon I’d be like David (BB06) most of the time, and then after a while I could turn into law student (fat boy) Ben. I could, however, end up sleeping all day.

And Gretel? National treasure for the humanity she injects into this.

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  1. Fantastic station James. I remember a time (57 years ago !) when as a night announcer at 2LM (& pre-recorded…

  2. I’m so glad you have patience and a sense of humour. And I get the invisibility thing. The older I…

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