What I’m Like

It’s Monday night. Six Feet Under is on television. I have resolved to post more often and so I thought I would share what I found when I did one of those internet-based personality tests.

As the tests were email to me with graphics, I’m not sure how well this will turn up in this diary, but here goes anyway.

Thanks for taking Match.com’s Personal Attraction test. Browse through your report below to see if we know you
as well as you do.

Tell your friends to take the test and then compare results: http://attraction.match.com

About this report: ‘ve customized this report based on your answers to the test. Some results will be very accurate while others may miss the mark.

Who You Are: You’re loved, and for good reasons. You’re smart, insightful, and have an insatiable curiosity about life. You have a vision for how you want your life to be, so you refuse to settle long-term for a boring job or doing something just because it’s expected of you. Life should be “balanced” with plenty of time for fun, spontaneity, and romance! Because you’re independent and a little shy, you only let a few people get especially close. Still, you have an emotional depth that most men lack. You’re ready and able to experience romance and a powerful “spark” with someone special.

What’s dating all about to you?: Falling in love is a spiritual experience for you. A truly loving relationship helps bring meaning to your life. You try hard to make your date feel comfortable and have a good time. You’re good at anticipating what other people need and giving it to them. But inside, you’re usually on an emotional roller coaster. You don’t want to reject nice men, but also take it very personally if you’re the one rejected.

You face two major challenges in finding the love of your life. First, because you’re shy, you feel like you have to be someone else or “wear a mask” to go out and meet new people. You’re left feeling like a distant observer, and men find it hard to truly understand you. Second, although your compassion for men is a very attractive quality, your focus on him can get in the way of getting what you want and need. It’s crucial to find a way to “go with the flow” in dating as you already do in other parts of your life.

How unique is your type?: Your personality profile is similar to a number of men your age. Looking at over 10,000 men who have taken the test, about 5% (or 1 in 20 men) have very similar beliefs, values, and habits. Of course, the way these qualities are expressed in you is what makes you so unique.

Quirks men notice: Like all men, you have your strengths as well as your quirks and shortcomings. Ultimately, you want to find someone who will love and accept you “warts and all.” Because you’re a private person, it’s especially important that you find a partner who understands.

You have a pretty even-tempered personality and may not have any especially annoying or quirky habits. Of course, seeming to be “perfect” could be seen as a flaw by some, in which case you may just want to pretend to have a bad habit!

Do men like your type?: Notice that 38% of men are generally attracted to your personality type. 4% say they are VERY attracted. With the millions of people on Match.com, that translates into lots of potential matches.

Who You’re Looking For: He’ll be an enigma. You’re looking for a man who can be your soul mate AND playmate in life! He’s a man with great integrity and the strength to stand up for causes he believes in. You’ll also find he has an insatiable curiosity about life, which leads him to have a wide variety of interests and hobbies. He’s shy and a little hard to get to know. But he’s worth the effort! One-on-one, you’ll find a very warm, easygoing and understanding man. You may find it’s like awakening a hidden prince! Though he may not always put it into words, he’s in touch with his emotions and will do spontaneous and romantic things to express his feelings for you.

Overall, it’s important for you to be with someone who is almost always cheerful and has an optimistic outlook on life. The ideal person you’re seeking shares a number of positive qualities with you, including:

No strong similarities were detected, which suggests that you may be more attracted to certain “opposite qualities.” Please read the next sections to see if you may be seeking someone with different or opposite qualities to balance your own habits and style.

Number of men your type: Men with the exact type of personality you prefer are rare gems. Looking at over 10,000 men who have taken this test, only 5% (or 1 in 20 men) have the exact combination of similarities and contrasts in personality you find extremely appealing.

However, there’s a larger group, 14% (or 1 in 7 men), who have most, but not all, of the qualities and habits you like. These subgroups are charted below.

Approximately two-fifths of the men have at least some of the traits you find attractive.

But you’d have a negative reaction to 6% (or 1 in 16 men), who have some or many of the characteristics you clearly dislike.

Finding someone like you: You want to share your life with someone who has the same values, goals, and style you have. Research has shown that couples who have more in common tend to stay together longer. The qualities you find attractive (and unattractive) in men suggest you would certainly be happier with a man who’s more like you.

No very strong opposites were detected, which suggests that you are most attracted to men who are very similar to you. This is good news since similar couples tend to stay together longer.

Quirks you can tolerate: The truth is that everyone is potentially “high maintenance.” We all have our quirks and shortcomings. The key to long-term harmony is finding a man who can tolerate (or maybe even enjoy) your “quirks,” or the little personal oddities that make you unique. You seem okay with several common quirks that might come along with your “ideal” man:

You described a pretty balanced person as most attractive to you, so no strong quirks were noted. Watch out for quirks during dating, since they may indicate a strong quality that is hidden at first.

Downside of your “ideal”: In addition to his quirks, your “ideal” personality type may have other qualities that are more frustrating or challenging to deal with. Under stress, his quirks can become serious “flaws.” But remember, these quirks are the “flip side of the coin,” or the extreme end of qualities you otherwise find appealing. So, be prepared if:

Because you’re most attracted to men with balanced personalities, no troubling differences were noted. Nevertheless, remember that too much similarity can lead to conflict as well, especially when problems call for very different perspectives or actions.

Deal breakers: You seem ready to adapt to the good and frustrating qualities of the men you’re looking for, but there are types of men you clearly do NOT like. Men’s habits and attitudes you’d have a hard time putting up with include:
Men who lack an imaginative or creative side.
Men who are moody or overly negative.

Trade-offs you’ll face

Good Qualities Challenging Qualities: Cares deeply for a few very close friends. Has little desire to branch out and meet new people. Comes up with lots of great ideas about how to do things better or improve the world. Creative ideas are often impractical or unrealistic. Tries to balance an objective view of problems with compassion for the people and feelings involved. Competing drives from your rational vs. compassionate points of view can stand in the way of making decisions.
Not afraid to make tough decisions and move ahead. Jumps too quickly to make decisions, because waiting is so hard to do.

Good sex is important to you, but it’s only one of many ways you connect emotionally with your partner. Whether it’s sexual or simply an affectionate touch, you give and receive pleasure easily.

Among men your age, your particular combination of sexual drive and interests is similar to about 1 in 6 men (16%).

Is he sexually compatible? You’re looking for someone just like you, who values the quality of sex over the quantity. You want someone who would never pressure you about sex.

What’s ahead for you sexually? A good sexual match plays a key role in your “ideal” relationship. If you can bring your natural creativity and imagination to the bedroom, your sex life will never be boring. Unlike most men (and many women), you know what it’s like to connect emotionally with someone and truly make love. This is a blessing and a curse. It sets a high standard for your sex life. If things are off in your relationship, you’ll probably worry too much and read a lot into the situation. Your challenge is to keep your fears in check and share your feelings and insights with your partner. If he truly shares your hunger for passion and romance, amazing things are possible, even if he’s not perfect.