I’ve always been a fan of Ros Reines. To be frank, it’s the only part of the Sunday papers I bother to read.

In particular, I love “Guess Who, Don’t Sue” where Ros often speculates about the misdemeanours of minor celebrities. I love trying to guess who she is talking about, and sometimes I actually know.

I also love the “spotted” segment where people text reports of celebrity sightings about Sydney. It’s all just so incredibly pointless, and therefore entertaining.

But things have reached a pretty parse, you must admit, when Clare, the faux Kings Cross crime witness makes it into Ros’ column.