Just two years ago, my life took an unexpected turn with the amputation of my lower right limb. Today marks that anniversary, or as I’ve playfully dubbed it, my “stump-iversary.” I even briefly entertained the idea of a foot-shaped cake to celebrate, though I quickly decided against it. While my family has a quirky sense of humor and usually plays along, I’m pretty sure that would have been the moment they declared me officially mad!
The first anniversary last year was a significant milestone. I’d gone from being fully active to suddenly living with a physical disability, after months spent in hospital and rehabilitation. Returning to work part-time and rebuilding my life felt momentous. This second anniversary, however, crept up on me. Its arrival was primarily prompted by the end of the financial year, a date I often joke about as my “end-of-financial-year leg cut.” It only clicked when June 30th turned into July 1st.
I was sharing this with my sister today over morning tea, here in my hometown of Lismore. It’s been great visiting family and escaping Sydney’s awful weather – the rain, cold, and general gloom. We had a few days of rain here over the weekend, but today was glorious and sunny. People in Sydney often assume Lismore is perpetually flooding, but it’s not! It’s actually really lovely here right now and looks set to stay that way until Sunday.
I’m working from home while I’m here, though I’ll be popping into the Lismore office for a couple of days this week. It’ll be a wonderful chance to see colleagues I genuinely like and remember fondly. When I was in the hospital, they sent me a care package filled with local chocolates, cookies, and coffee. When that package arrived, I honestly burst into tears. It was such an emotional moment, one of many gifts and well wishes I received throughout my hospital stay.
My time in hospital brought me much closer to many of my colleagues, but it also created a distance with others. For some, I’m now simply “the guy with the disability.” But here I am, two years later, still at work. And why not? My office-based job means I can do everything on my computer or mobile, largely communicating with people, which is the essence of my industry.
This entire experience has also strengthened many of my friendships and family relationships. People who visited me in the hospital, looked out for me, and took care of me when I was incredibly vulnerable. They saw me when I was truly sick, in a coma, and even when I was experiencing some pretty wild hallucinations. Love.
It has fundamentally shifted my outlook on life in many ways. I’ve always worked incredibly hard, and while I still give 100%, I’m less inclined to check in outside of hours now. Occasionally I do, but mostly I lead a normal working life.
In the past couple of years, I’ve also felt motivated to achieve things. Perhaps it’s a strange psychological drive to prove myself, both to myself and to others. That’s why I did things like walk in Mardi Gras and travel to China. There’s still a sense of that “young kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Lismore” who feels he needs to prove everything.
I’m also much more acutely aware of my own mortality. I always knew my family wouldn’t live forever, but I came awfully close to the end two years ago. This has prompted me to think deeply about what I want to do with the rest of my life and what that truly means.
Furthermore, I feel a stronger motivation to contribute to disability advocacy. I’ve joined a couple of working groups and engagement groups, which has introduced me to a much broader spectrum of people living with disabilities than I would have encountered in my previous day-to-day life. This has been a truly insightful experience, helping me realize how fortunate I still am in many aspects of my life. Perhaps there’s something meaningful I can do in the disability space to help others.
So, there it is: the unexpected journey of living with a physical disability, coupled with the natural process of getting older. These are the thoughts weighing on my mind as I celebrate my “stump-iversary.”
Be First to Comment